Charms Class and Jealous Hands
by realslytherinchick
Summary: Lily wants James to stop doing the thing, so she sends him a note. Only James has no intention to stop doing the thing...even if he knew what that thing was. Oneshot. Some language. Written for Jily Week.


This was written for Jily Week over on tumblr, with the theme of letters/notes. Normal font = Lily, italics = James, bolded = Sirius. Enjoy!

* * *

Stop that.

_Sorry? Stop what?_

That thing you're doing. Stop it.

_You'll have to be a little more clear than that, Evans, I've no idea what you're talking about._

That thing with your h

Just stop fidgeting; it's distracting!

_You could try paying more attention to Flitwick. Why are you looking at me anyway? I thought Charms was your favourite class?_

Not important, Potter. And I wouldn't be looking at you if you could just keep bloody still.

You're doing that on purpose, aren't you?

_Hm? Sorry, no idea what you're talking about._

Prick.

_Rude, Evans._

Please stop bouncing your leg all over creation.

_Much more polite, well done, Evans. But no._

_Again, why are you staring at me? Flitwick is giving the greatest lecture on Vanishing Charms I've ever ignored._

I'm already proficient in Vanishing Charms, Potter, I don't need to pay attention. And anyway, I already told you I wouldn't be looking - not staring - if you could keep still for longer than five seconds.

MERLIN'S BALLS, POTTER. STOP.

YOU ARE A MADMAN.

Flitwick is going to think you're having a fit!

**What did you do to Prongs? Why is he bouncing in his seat?**

Nothing! I asked him to stay still!

**You didn't hex him?**

No! If anything, I'm about to Petrify him!

Bless you, Sirius, you are a god amongst men.

**Obviously.**

_That was just underhanded, Evans. Very Slytherin of you._

For the record, Sirius sent me a note first. You were too busy being completely mental to notice, I reckon.

_I was just channeling my inner kangaroo. Don't see what's so wrong about that._

In the middle of Charms?!

_Don't write at me in that tone of voice; I'm not the one ignoring the lecture to stare at fit blokes._

I never said anything about fit blokes! And I didn't have a tone of voice - it's a written note!

**Lily, what did you do now?**

I have no idea, Sirius. None at all. Why?

**Because I think his face might break in half if he keeps smiling like this.**

He's winding me up, isn't he? The bastard.

_You wound me, Evans._

**Damn it, sorry. He stole the note from me.**

I expected better from you, Sirius. Laughing over a note? Really?

**I know, I know. You'd think seven years of training would give me the world's most perfect poker face, but alas, I have to settle for the world's most perfect face.**

You are such a git.

_Stop writing to Padfoot. We were in the middle of a serious conversation._

_Plus, his Vanishing Charms are shit, so he actually needs to pay attention to Flitwick._

1. If it was such a serious conversation, why don't I remember what we were talking about? 2. You should be paying attention, too!

_Honestly, Evans, you're breaking my heart! We were talking very seriously about your obsession with me._

I am hardly obsessed with you, Potter.

_Then why are you still staring at me?_

Your hair looks funny.

HA. Got you!

_Very funny._

_How did you do that?!_

Do what?

_Answer Flitwick's question! Have you secretly been paying attention this whole time?_

I already told you, my Vanishing Charms are excellent. I could do them in my sleep.

I will Vanish your hair if you keep doing that.

_Aha! I've got you figured out now!_

What are you on about?

_You know, if you wanted to touch my hair, all you had to do was ask._

I don't

Just

Get over yourself.

_If you want to run your fingers through it, too, you're more than welcome. Feel free to tug at it some, too._

Oh my God.

**Why are you the same colour as my bed hangings?**

Did you just wink at me?!

Sorry, that was for James.

JAMES POTTER STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR HAIR

**Do I need to hit him again?**

YES

**I don't think it worked. Sorry, Lils.**

At least you tried. He's just being an idiot.

_Didn't we already discuss how shit Sirius's Vanishing Charms are? Seriously, Lily, stop distracting him. It's very rude of you, especially as Head Girl._

Says the Head Boy while actively distracting another student.

_A student who has claimed multiple times now that she doesn't actually need to be paying attention._

I meant Sirius, you twat.

_I'm not the one sending him notes, now am I?_

You're the one acting like a bloody madman next to him! And for the love of Merlin, please stop playing with your hair.

_Why don't you just admit it already?_

Admit what?

_That you want to play with my hair!_

How do you know I don't just wait for you to fall asleep in the Head's office and play with it then?

**Christ's sake, Lily, what did you do to him ****now****?**

I don't know, but at least he's being still.

**I think he's comatose.**

James. Come in, James. Earth to James. This is your captain speaking.

_Excuse you. I'm team captain._

Really? That was the best defence you could think of?

_While I'm actively imagining you having your wicked way with my hair? Absobloodylutely._

Aha, the truth comes out! Why don't you admit to it then?

_Sorry?_

You want me to play with your hair!

_I thought that was obvious._

_Wait_

_Did I not make that obvious?_

_Shit sorry_

_Lily, you can play with my hair any damn time you please._

_You can play with it right now._

We're in class, you dolt.

But maybe after.

_Yeah? Is that a promise?_

It could be. You'd have to do something for me first, though.

_Name it._

Well, okay, two things.

_Lily. I think you underestimate how badly I want you to play with my hair._

Don't make me laugh! Flitwick will notice!

_Please, he loves you. You could even talk him out of giving __me__ detention._

_Now name your price._

Okay. First thing you need to do is give Sirius either sweets or a shot because he is an incredible friend.

_Obviously. Sweets and a shot for Sirius. Done. What else?_

Take me to Hogsmeade.

_Wait_

_What?_

You heard me. Or, well, read me.

_The next Hogsmeade weekend is over a month away! I have to wait over a month for you to play with my hair?_

_Don't get me wrong, I __will__ wait, I'll just be increasingly impatient about it._

I never said when you had to take me to Hogsmeade.

You still alive over there?

_Yeah. Just thinking._

Don't hurt yourself.

_Evans, are you asking me out?_

_It's okay if you're not!_

_I just want to know, you know? Before I get my hopes up._

James.

_Let me down easy, will you?_

_Wait, why are you laughing?_

_Flitwick is definitely giving me the evil eye. As if __I'm__ the one laughing through a lecture about Vanishing Charms._

_Merlin's tits he won't look away. I AM TAKING NOTES, FLITWICK. LOOK AT ME. MODEL STUDENT._

_Lily you're going to get me in trouble if you keep laughing_

_Thank fuck_

_Seriously? He doesn't notice when I'm bouncing around on this bloody chair, but the second you start laughing..._

_This is ridiculous. Please stop before he glares at me again._

**I realize Prongs is a funny bloke, but he's not ****that**** funny. What on earth is he saying?**

_Now you're distracting two students! Godric himself is shaking his head at you in dismay._

Tell him he's an idiot for me, yeah?

_Why are you sending notes through Padfoot when you could just send them __directly to me__?_

Because you're an idiot, James.

By the way, the answer was yes.

_Hold up_

_Answer to what?_

_What was the question?_

_Shit fuck that is not fair_

_Yes to what?_

_Lily?_

**You're driving the poor sod spare.**

That's what he gets for driving me mad earlier! But don't worry, in a moment he won't be able to do anything but smile. Be prepared to catch him if he falls over.

**Oh god, he's going to wet himself, isn't he? Damn it, Lily.**

_Lily, I'm metaphorically on my hands and knees here._

Metaphysically.

_Semantics._

You're doing the hair thing again. My hands are getting jealous.

_Like I said, you can play with my hair literally any time you feel like it._

And I told you, I want you to take me to Hogsmeade first.

Don't even try to pretend you don't have ways out of this castle, either. I know exactly where all that firewhisky came from last week.

Mind you, I don't remember drinking so much of it. But the fact remains, you got it from Hogsmeade.

_You want to sneak out of the castle with me?_

James, you idiot, I want to go on a date with you.

Nice catch, Sirius.

**You did warn me. Cheers.**

Hey, James?

_Hold on a moment._

Did you just pinch yourself? It looked like it hurt.

_I did, yeah. Had to check._

Do you often have dreams of me asking you out via note?

_You don't want to know the answer to that._

You never gave me an answer, you know. Will you go out with me?

_YES_

_Bloody hell yes_

_Fucking hell the answer is always going to be yes_

Good to know.

_I'd tell you to stop smirking, but it's a beautiful smirk, so I'll let it slide._

_Meet me in the common room at 8?_

I'll be there. Make sure you get Sirius his rewards before then.

_Done._

_Hey, Evans?_

Yeah, Potter?

_Could you please stop playing with your hair? My hands are jealous._

I'm just practicing for tonight.

_You minx, you._

Class is almost over. I'll see you at 8!

And make sure you wear that red jumper you got last Christmas!

_You are so demanding._

_But fine. It's a date._

**He's never going to stop smiling, is he?**

Reckon not, Sirius. Reckon not.


End file.
